Epic Let Down

My vow to remain indoors went out the window, when my sister coaxed me into running her errands. I only accepted because I knew I could bang it out quick and return to my cocoon. As I presumed I did, even though I nearly lost my fingers to frost bite and my face to the death wind. Ecstatic, I converted a blanket into a Snuggie and prepared my space into an invigorating night in. As I contemplated what movie to kick off my night, I was abruptly interrupted by a random phone call. Unfortunately I answered, only to be surprised by my manager.

"Bromley, what are you doing?" 

"Nothing. Just hanging out, why?"

"Well you know you're supposed to be at work...?"

Sadness immediately flooded my comfort filled veins, then anger quickly replaced the sadness. I replied with a plethora of drawn out apologies and promised I'd be there super soon. I've never wanted to be fired so badly in my life. Just to have my now fantasy become a reality. So now, I'm currently at my post by myself. I'm the only hostess on tonight, which I love. No one to talk to. It's not lonely at all, complete solitude for 7 plus hours. Of course every time I attempt to leave my assigned area the phone rings, or another overly excited group of hungry humans request a table; but not the one I give them. It's never good enough. Here I am, with a painful need to pee and bored out of my mind, pouring my thoughts into ripped scraps of paper. As though I'm in prison, scrounging around for blank pieces of litter, to plan my escape. Before I begin to scratch at the walls till my fingertips bleed, and write symbols with my blood; I'm going to choreograph a fetal position rock. I'll chant numbers out of sequence and quietly giggle at the sight of my blood. That way I'll have it down pat by 10pm. Giving me 2hours to properly execute the satanic vibe and clear out the restaurant. 

I think it's a good plan, don't you?

My day was a bigger let down then when I found out bacon wasn't a vegetable... 

Michelangelo wouldn't steer us wrong...

Michelangelo wouldn't steer us wrong...